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Over the centuries the Devil has been blamed for a vast number of crimes against the Church, society and good old fashioned morality; some of these sins have been committed by the Devil's human minions of earth, others are alleged to have been committed by the very hand of the Devil instead.
However given humans have found new or improved ways of killing, maiming and generally being very unpleasant each other and their environment it seems foolish to assume that Satan himself hasn't also evolved.
Instead of the latest seemingly unprovoked murder with almost ritualistic or copycat overtones being blamed on Satan (with the assistance of Metallica, Marilyn Manson or Crazy Town) it would be far more inventive to blame boredom for the murder and instead focus on the Devil's role in causing global warming.
The damaging effect of endless hellfire and brimstone (at least since Lucifer's failed coup against the Almighty) upon the Earth's fragile ecosystem can not be underestimated and with a little intuitive research it may well be possible to blame the entire global warming phenomena at Hell's door.
The combined efforts of the Catholic Church and the American Far Right seem to be finding new ways of casting people into the pit for an ever increasing list of sins (real or imagined) it is likely that Hell will expand significantly over the next few years and as such its production of harmful by-products will increase.
In the present climate of hostility and fear between the living and the Devil this situation can not be remedied, especially given Bush's blatant disregard for and periodic outright rejection of the Kyoto Protocol.
In order to bring about productive change it will be necessary to change both parties attitudes with the ultimate aim being that instead of continuing setting a bad example on Earth in terms of pollutants it would instead be more productive to shame Satan into reducing emission whilst working with him to ensure that he can still deliver the same quality of service to the damned.
This way the Catholic Church and US Republicans can ensure that their enemies and dissenters can go straight to hell and be tormented for all eternity whilst minimise polluting the earth and thus ensuring that their reign of moral terror continues uninterrupted by pesky natural disasters for as long as possible.
